"Yes we got your test results back, but the doctor would like you to come into the office so he can speak to you about them."

 
UPDATE: Sorry for the false alarm. My tests results are completely normal. My doctor just wanted to follow-up with me on my appointment last week.  That’s why he wanted me to come in.  I had already scheduled that follow-up appointment for next week.  His nurse saw that appointment and thought he would go over the test results with me then. 

UPDATE:  Congratulations to Adam who was the first one to answer all five questions correctly.  The answers have been added below.

Those nice folks at Vancouver, Canada-based Ginch Gonch, makers of sexy designer underwear, sent me a pair of men’s briefs from their latest collection.  This design is called "Oil Slicker" ( <—click for image: possibly NSFW) and it can be yours if just answer five simple Scott-O-Rama-related trivia questions:
 

1. According to my friend Barbara, all food falls into one of two food groups.  Name them.

   Sweet and salty.




2. Starting with the community I grew up in, what are the six places I’ve lived?

   The Quad Cities (Illinois-Iowa), Normal, IL (Illinois State), Sacramento, St. Louis, Columbus (Ohio), and Phoenix.




3. What are the names of my pets?

   Bailey (dog), Zoe (cat), and Karter (dog).




4. What is the name of the charity association I founded?  Hint: you can show your support by wearing a blue denim ribbon.

   Noassatol Awareness




5. What is the name of the local weatherman I have a crush on?

   Bill Bellis

 
That’s it.

To enter, be the first to correctly e-mail me the answers to the questions above.  Make sure I can e-mail you back if you’re the winner to get your address information.  I’ll update this post with the correct answers once someone has won.  Good luck!
 

A few disclaimers: Must be 18 or over to enter.  Must be located in the U.S. or Canada.  My determination of the winner is final.  Yes, the briefs are brand new and in their original package, and no, I won’t wear them around the house first.  You’re just a sick puppy for even wondering such a thing. No, that isn’t me or Buckaroo in the picture.
 

I can’t help but feel sorry for Rick.

He is so terribly deluded into believing his Chicago Cubs stand a chance in the play-offs against the Arizona Diamondbacks that he’s issued me a challenge.  I’ve accepted but with a guilty heart knowing full well I am taking advantage of the poor boy.  Still, it will be fun to think of some sort of horrible penance for him when he has to concede defeat.

I don’t hate the Cubs.  In fact, they were my favorite team when I was a boy growing up in Illinois across the state from Chicago.  Like most other sane individuals, I too had the rite of passage into adulthood in realizing that rooting for the Cubs was like wishing for ice water in hell: it just ain’t gonna happen.  Unfortunately Rick has yet to grasp that truth.

So now I need to think of something humiliating to have Rick do when the Cubs embarrass themselves lose.  This is where I need you, my loyal blog readers, to help me out.  If you have an idea for a cruel and unusual punishment, leave a comment and let me know.  I’m open to all suggestions.

I’m not being mean to Rick here folks; it’s called tough love.
 

P.S.  I liked the Diamondbacks’ uniforms colors and logo better when we last won the World Series in 2001.  I wonder what the Cubs’ uniforms looked like when they last won a World Series.  Did they even have cameras around to take pictures of them 99 years ago?

"Call me (call me) on the line
 Call me, call me any, anytime
 Call me (call me) my love
 You can call me any day or night
 Call me"
                                                         -Blondie

This might be really cool or a huge mistake. I thought it might me fun to add a way for you, my loyal blog readers, to call and leave a voicemail for Scott-O-Rama.com.  Say whatever is on your mind, but keep it reasonably clean.  I’ll post the best voicemails to my blog for everyone to listen to and enjoy.

It’s easy and completely free (thanks to GrandCentral).  Simply click the button below.  It will ask you for your phone number (don’t worry, I don’t collect them) to call you at.  A moment or so later you will receive a phone call at the number you gave that will allow you to leave a voicemail for me.  (If for some strange reason you would prefer not to use the web button below, you can also call my blog’s voicemail directly at (602) 388*1524).

Be creative and have fun, but don’t forget to tell us who you are.  I’m anxious to hear what you have to say!
 

Sorry for the lack of updates.  I had two different things I wanted to post, but as many some one none of you noticed, my blog was offline most of the weekend because I had the audacity to switch to a cheaper price plan with my hosting provider.  Apparently upgrading to a more expensive account is no problem, but when you downgrade it’s necessary for them to take your blog offline for a couple days.  Silly me; I thought it just would have been a billing issue.

My blog is finally back online, but now it’s too late for me to think coherently.  I’ll put those blog posts up sometime tomorrow after Eye Candy Mondays.  Thanks for your patience.