Let’s see how we’re doing on getting ready for the holidays, shall we?
 

	Holiday displays in the malls and stores (since early October or before)
	Holiday catalogs from Harry & David, Hickory Farms, FTD, and every other mail-order merchant known to man stuffing my mailbox (since September… so that’s what happened to all those rain forests!)
	Holiday-themed ads on TV (since the day after Halloween)
	Nauseating Christmas music on the radio (also since the day after Halloween)
	First Christmas lights spotted on someone’s house (Believe it or not, I saw some last week)
	First holiday-related fattening food brought into office by well-meaning but ultimately evil co-worker (Pumpkin squares yesterday)
	Bill O’Reilly’s annual tirade about a "War on Christmas™" (More crazy ramblings from Scrooge himself)

Yep, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
 
I was at my local Target the other day and it would seem that they have completely acquiesced to the Bill O’Reilly and the religious right’s edicts.  Located very prominently as you walk in there is a huge sign proclaiming "Merry Christmas."  As you walk throughout the store there are many more signs like it though the ones that say the more inclusive yet apparently blasphemous "Happy Holidays" are few and far between.  It would seem that Target doesn’t want any fingers pointed at them this year for being anti-Christmas.

As most of you know (like you could avoid hearing about it), Buckaroo and I took a trip to Vermont last month.  I decided to relate our experience there by breaking it down into three blog posts, each on a distinct theme, rather than bore you with a play by play.  In the first post I told you about how Vermonters have a progressive way of thinking about things (environment, social outreach, etc.) not so much as a political philosophy but as a way of life.  No wonder why they were named the greenest state in the union.

In this post I’d like to share the beauty of Vermont with you, and there’s no better way to do that than with pictures!  I finally sorted through the 837 photos (yes, 837!!!) we took while there and narrowed it down to just 72 to share with you.  I know that still sounds like a lot, but they’re worth it.

One of the things I liked best about Vermont’s beauty is how unspoiled it was.  I’ve been to other areas of the country that have incredible natural splendor, but then they went and ruined it by sticking up billboards and tourist traps everywhere.  I’m looking at you, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (Sorry Dolly!).  In Vermont they have no billboards, and although there are gift shops, they’re not nearly as obnoxious as I’ve seen in other places.

Click here or on the picture to the left to be taken to my photoset on Flickr.  Feel free to leave a comment on any of the photos.  If you’re a registered user, you can even highlight a specific area of the photo to ask a question or point out something (just click the ‘add note’ button).

I know that looking at someone else’s vacation photos can be an arduous affair, but I’m crossing my fingers that you’ll enjoy these.  I only hope they do Vermont’s grandeur justice.

I’m 38 today.

I don’t know specifically what I did to piss off karma recently, but boy is she mad!

Here’s my Monday so far:

• It began by me waking up around 3:20am or so with a severe case of heartburn.  Although I got up and took some antacid, the heartburn kept coming back and waking me every 10-15 minutes.  Normally I am on a prescription for heartburn (acid reflux), but I tried switching to Prilosec OTC because my health insurance will provide that free (no co-pay).  Unfortunately I had a reaction to Prilosec and am needing to go back to my original prescription Protonix.  My doctor appointment for that is this afternoon.
• My cat Zoe, who has a strong sense of propriety, woke me at 5:00am.  While this is normally what time I would get up during the summer to let the dogs out and feed them, they have been letting me sleep later as it is still dark now at 5:00am.  Zoe would have none of that though, and it’s not because she was hungry.  When I get up in the mornings, her food bowl usually still has food in it.  She has simply decided that 5:00am is what time everyone needs to be up (except Buckaroo… lucky bastard.  I  don’t know why the cat lets him sleep in).  This wouldn’t have been so bad if I had gone to bed before 12:30am last night.
• As I’m organizing my day, I realize that the stamps I ordered from the Post Office online still have not arrived.  Worse yet, I discover that the birthday card I need the stamps for has to be there tomorrow to be on time and not next week as I originally thought.  I add "overnight card" to my already full list of things I need to do today. (To my friend whose birthday it is tomorrow, your card will be late.  It’s not being overnighted.  Keep reading as to why.)
• Since I’ll be a new patient at the doctor’s office I’m going to this afternoon, they sent me a new patient pack in e-mail last week.  I spent over an hour filling it out over the weekend and need to take it with me for my appointment.  When I’m ready to walk out the door for work, I can’t find the paperwork anywhere.  I finally end up having to print another copy of the blank paperwork (14 pages!) to somehow get filled out at work today.
• Once in my car I notice I forgot to get gas yesterday.  Since I’ve already passed the Costco where I normally fill-up, I pull into a Circle K.  This is making me run even later to work.  I proceed to spill gas on my hands and pants giving me that lovely petroleum aroma.
• I pull my car out of the gas lane and park in front of the Circle K and go in to wash my hands.  When I return to my car, it won’t start.  I appears the battery is dead.  This is not uncommon in Arizona as the hot summers pretty much destroy the batteries.  I have jumper cables with me, but many convenience stores now carry emergency power you just plug into the cigarette lighter for a jump.  I try to ask the clerk about this, but she is extremely rude and keeps repeating "we don’t jump cars here."  I head back out to my car and, with jumper cables in hand, ask about fifteen different people if they could give me a jump.  Every single one makes an excuse as to why they can’t help me ("I’m running late," "This isn’t my car," "This is the company truck and they won’t let us do jumps," etc).  Unfortunately this is not uncommon for Arizona either.  The people here can be friendly, but most often prefer only to stay in their little world.  It’s easy to ignore or not help someone as you’re most likely never going to see them again.  I felt like a homeless guy asking for spare change the way people reacted to my request for help.
• I call Buckaroo who is at a routine vet appointment with Bailey.  He’s able to leave and come get me, but I still have to spend a good twenty minutes longer sitting outside the Circle K looking like a panhandler.  By the time he arrives I’ve been at the Circle K for an hour since I first pulled in.
• When Buckaroo and I try to jump my car, it still won’t start.  Looks like possibly the alternator has gone bad even though the car is model year 2006.  Although I don’t know a lot about cars, I’m very well acquainted with alternators.  In the 14+ years I lived in Phoenix and five cars I’ve had it that time, I’ve replaced a hell of a lot of alternators, usually at $300 to $500 a shot.  One summer I had to replace the alternator in my car three different times.  The part is rarely put under warranty here because of the effect of the summer heat on it.  I asked the clerk in the Circle K if I could leave my car there for just a couple hours while I go home and make repair arrangements and got another rude response ("You can’t leave it here overnight").
• I get home and call work to let them know what’s going on.  Buckaroo needs to return to the vet with Bailey as the first blood sample they drew for her the machine won’t read.  While he’s gone, I attempt to put the dog bed covers I just washed back on the dog beds and end up breaking the zipper on one.
• In preparation for the cooler temperatures, I’ve been getting some of my warmer clothes out of storage and washing them.  Despite washing one of my favorite shirts in cold water and Woolite on the gentle cycle with only two other sweaters, it appears somehow the colors from something ran onto the shirt.  I’m rewashing it now, but it’s probably ruined.

All this has happened and it’s not even noon yet.  I’m afraid to go anywhere, do anything, or touch stuff.  Karma is out to get me today.

What a day, what a day, what a mighty long day.

As I write this, Buckaroo and I are in the airport at Phoenix.  Just a little over twenty-four hours ago I surprised Buckaroo by revealing the real reason I’ve been hoarding my money these past couple of months.  That’s not easy.  Buckaroo keeps a tight reign on the finances, and it’s almost impossible to secretly squirrel money away from him.

Back in July, Buckaroo had another week long vacation, but circumstances were such that we weren’t able to go anywhere.  It ended up that his time off was rather boring for him amounting to little more than a chance to catch up with all the shows his TiVo had recorded.  It made me feel bad, and I vowed to do something about it.

I knew Buckaroo had more time off this week in September (he gets more vacation time than God himself), so I became determined that we were going to take a vacation.  The problem is, if I told Buckaroo what I was planning, his practicality would most likely win out and we’d use the trip money for something… oh I don’t know… practical.  Therefore I needed to plan this trip in private.

I’ve been watching airfares, vacation deals, hotel rates, etc, etc, closely for a couple of months.  I know that Buckaroo dreams of going to DisneyWorld, but I was concerned about booking a trip there during hurricane season.  We’ve both traveled to California and Las Vegas innumerable times so those destinations were out.  I really wanted to take him to either Vancouver, BC or Toronto, but international flights (even to Canada) are more expensive than their domestic counterparts.  We both love NYC, but I couldn’t get a decent hotel rate.  Buckaroo hasn’t seen Chicago in nearly 30 years, but I didn’t want to impose on Rick… yet (oh but I will someday Rick, I will!).  So where did that leave?  How about somewhere with beautiful scenery and fall foliage?  How about Vermont?

Neither of us has ever been there, but I’ve only heard good things about the state.  We’re flying into Burlington, but we hope to be able to road trip to all of the different areas.  We’re also hoping to get up to Montreal.  There’s a danger though in taking me to Canada.  I probably won’t want to come back to King George’s Fascist States of America.

When I broke the news to Buckaroo last evening, he looked puzzled.  He liked the idea of a trip (even though I hid it from him), but I don’t think he was too sure about the destination.  I sat him down with a whole bunch of Vermont tourist information today, and I think it got him excited about the trip.  We did a whole bunch of last minute laundry and packing and (almost tearfully) dropped the dogs off at the pet boarding kennel resort.  We were sad to leave our kids in someone else’s hands, but they looked like they’ll be having the time of their lives.  The cat meantime has the house, a new litterbox, and tons of food and water all to herself.  It’s the best gift we could have given her.

So I’ll be away for the next week, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be far.  I’ve lined up some excellent guest bloggers that you had better be nice to!  And as you can tell, I have my MacBook Pro with me, so I might check in from time to time.  At the very least, I’ll be sending in lots of Jaiku updates (located in my sidebar).

As excited as I am to be going on this trip, I’m a little sad I’ll be missing ‘Talk Like a Pirate’ Day tomorrow.  Poor Buckaroo.  Before we even lift off the ground the clock will have most likely turned past midnight, and he’s got to spend the next seven hours listening to me go "Arrr… can I get a bottle of rum here serving wench" to the flight attendants. 

How much you want to bet they kick us out somewhere over Omaha?

I had a few things rattling around in my head that don’t really warrant a blog post individually, so I thought I’d combine them here.

Gum Karma: I almost never chew gum, but earlier this week I had some gum in my mouth beginning to go stale.  I was headed into a store, so I tossed my chewed gum into the trash outside the entrance.  Unfortunately I missed, and like the bad person I am, I didn’t pick it up (I know, I know… but it was icky!).  The very next day while walking in a parking lot, I stepped in gum.  John Lennon was right: instant karma is going to get ya.

Costco Wins: Once again this year, the winner of the "First Store To Push The Holiday Season On Us Beyond What Is Reasonable Or Even Sane" Award is Costco.  They started putting out Christmas-related merchandise earlier this week.  As you may remember, they won last year too.

Merge Into This, Buddy: I must have missed the news report that says if you yield to another driver, you are a pansy and your penis will shrink.  Unfortunately the rest of Phoenix didn’t.

Buckaroo Doesn’t Play Fair: I’m at work this afternoon, and time like usual is at a standstill on Friday.  It seems like the end of the workday will never come when my cell phone suddenly beeps.  Buckaroo has sent me the picture to the right with the caption "please come home and play with me."  I’ll let Karter explain to my boss why I needed to leave early.

America to the Rescue: Finally if you didn’t catch The Daily Show last night, you’ll want to watch this brilliant bit from Mr. Stewart and friends:

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