Something to tide you over until I can rewrite that blog post I lost:

 
P.S. I really, really hated the movie they’re spoofing. What a load of crap!

While I continue to sort through vacation photos (all 837 of them!!!), I thought you might enjoy this article in The Onion:

Hello baby Blog. Bossy here. Sorry Bossy is late but she took a wrong turn on WordPress and ended up in a vacated comment section under the information highway. And who knew the Profile Page is one-way and the ramp to Manage Your Subscription is under construction? Deep breath.

Well aren’t you just the cutest baby Blog? Bossy especially adores your enormous head. Your enormous Masthead, that is. It’s sweet the way you have a bunch of utility poles where your eyes should be and a mountain range instead of hair. Aw.

What’s the matter baby Blog? Don’t cry. Scott will be home soon. And in the meantime Bossy brought a few of her bloggy tricks to distract you. Hold on a second while she unpacks her Hermès purse. Or Trader Joe’s tote. Same thing.

The first toy Bossy brought for you: This. It’s a purple word! Gee, Bossy didn’t think you’d get so upset. Purple words are all the rage with Bossy’s baby Blog. Fine, how about this? Red! No? Rats, this is going to be a lot harder than Bossy thought. Do you know where Scott keeps his gin, baby Blog?

Let’s see — how about this cheap trick Blog toy? It’s a bunch of crossed out words! Watch the crossed out words crossed out words roll across the floor. Neat, right? No? Well wait right here while Bossy collects her crossed out words crossed out words. Please try not to fall off the Internet while Bossy is gone. She wouldn’t want to end up in the Emergency Room tending to your broken Blogroll.

All right, this is Bossy’s best Blog toy, saved for last: Enormous. It’s an enormous word! Watch Bossy scatter enormous words around the room! Are we having fun yet? Baby Blog are you tired? Your Flickr Photos look a little blurry and your Eye Candy is red-rimmed.

Maybe it’s time for a nap. Close your Blog feed, little one. Bossy will be right here if you need anything. Or 2,386 miles away. Same thing. One last question, baby Blog: do you know where Scott keeps his Vermouth?

As I mentioned earlier after writing my post "Let’s Pretend," I was accused by some neocons of being a tinfoil hat-wearing paranoid freak.  I can assure you that I do not wear a tinfoil hat.

I cannot, however, speak for all the members of my household:

  

 
(Please excuse the blurriness and poor quality of the photos.  They were taken with a cameraphone, and getting the pets to sit still tested my fragile grip on sanity to its limit.)

Howard (of The Web Pen Blog fame) and I had a humorous e-mail exchange last night.  It regarded how some people toss the term "racist" around way too freely thereby robbing the word of any meaning or power.  Howard reminded me however that he is not 100% certain which race I am having never seen me, and therefore he’s probably offended me through some comment he’s left on my blog in the past.

I had never really thought about that before.  Most of you, my loyal blog readers, probably have assumed that I am one race or another, but you really don’t know, do you?  I know that it is very hard to piece together from what you know of me: that I’m a casserole-loving,  small town Midwest-born, Methodist-raised, German descendant who can’t dance (was that last fact a racist stereotype?  Bad Scott!).

I’ve decided then that since my race is such a mystery, I am going to start taking offense at every single statement or action that could possibly be racist in even the smallest degree. Here’s an example:

Suppose you say to me "good morning."  Well what is morning exactly?  Isn’t it when the sun comes and disperses of the dark night?  By adding the term "good" before that, you are stating that you think getting rid of dark things like night is in fact a good thing.  Therefore you hate all dark things including dark-skinned people.  What a racist bastard you are!!!

See how fun this is (well at least for me)?  You’re all a bunch of racists and you didn’t even know it.  I think the only way you can make reparations to me is to send me lots of money.  That’s the only way I can forgive you for being the racist bastard that you are.

Or you could bake me a casserole.

 
[Disclaimer: Yes, I know that racism is a very real and serious problem in the world today.  I don't mean to make light of racism itself, but rather the people who tend to find racism everywhere, even where it does not exist.  I hope you will read this post in that light and with a sense of humor.]

As Buckaroo can testify, this is my philosophy:

 
 

 
Click on image for larger view
 

Thanks to Rudy Park.