First off, thank you all for your many words of sympathy and condolence regarding Bailey.  It may sound cliché or trite to say so, but your comments really did mean a lot and are helping Buckaroo and I through this difficult time.  I hesitated in writing another post about Bailey because I didn’t want it to appear that I was fishing for more sympathy comments, but so many of you have asked me what happened I thought I needed to address it.

Bailey’s death was quite a shock.  Although she was around 10 years old, Bailey’s always seemed very healthy and gotten good check-ups from the vet.  A recent vet visit indicated some levels in her liver were a little high, but the vet had us give her SAM-e daily.  When we had her checked again, the levels were the same but the vet didn’t seem too concerned about it.  She said that is just how some dogs are.

Buckaroo got home from work early Sunday afternoon, and we played with the dogs in the backyard like we always do while he told me about his day.  Bailey did a fair amount of running, but it was not as much as she has been recently.  For her age, she could really keep up with our young dog Karter.

We came in to go grab a bite to eat before the Super Bowl started. As we were getting ready to leave, Buckaroo noticed through the window that Bailey first threw up and then pooped nearly at the same time.  She didn’t even make it to the grass as she pooped but instead went on the patio.  We went out to check on her and found her breathing labored.  She also continued to make heaving noises like she might throw up again.

We called the emergency vet’s office, but the closest one that was open was way up in north Scottsdale.  We rushed her up there, but it was still about a 20 minute drive.  As I sat in the backseat with her, her condition deteriorated.  I didn’t want to make it worse for Buckaroo though who was driving as fast as he could, so I just silently held Bailey next to me.

When we arrived the vet took her in back and began treating her as we filled out the paperwork. They took us to the examining room to wait.  The vet came in and told us Bailey was responding well to the oxygen they were giving her, but they were still trying to stabilize her and would want to observe her overnight.  It sounded as if things might be alright when the vet left, but a couple minutes later the vet came and got us because Bailey had gone into cardiac arrest.  They let us be there as they gave her CPR, but I could barely watch.  I had to leave and go back to the waiting room.  Buckaroo came and got me a short time later and told me they were going to have to put her to sleep.

We were there as she passed away, but it was so excruciating to see her there on that table.  I didn’t want to spend long in there as that was not the memory I wanted to have of her.  We made arrangements to have her cremated and have the ashes sent to us, then paid the bill and left.  I don’t remember much of the drive back. 

While we were in a state of disbelief at the vet’s office, it hit hard once we returned home.  We spent most of Sunday night and yesterday crying.  We tried to watch the Super Bowl we recorded, but I don’t know if I could even tell you who won.  Our minds and hearts were elsewhere.

Karter wouldn’t eat until finally last night.  When I used to feed both dogs, Bailey got fed outside and Karter inside.  Karter would never eat his food though until Bailey came back inside.  He seemed to eat it only because he was afraid she would get it if he didn’t.  When Bailey didn’t come back inside Sunday night and Monday, he wasn’t sure what to do.  He ended up hiding the food beneath his "blankie" until we finally could coax him to eat.

Our cat Zoe was always good friends with Bailey.  She used to lick Bailey’s face and would play with her.  She tolerated Karter but seemed put off by all the energy he had as a puppy.  We spotted both Karter and Zoe laying together for the first real time Sunday night. 

Karter used to have a game where he would run from the den to the other end of the house trying to get Bailey to chase him.  Bailey was smart though and would more or less stay in one place to bark at him and let him do all the running.  Karter seems a little lost without someone to play that game with him now.

I know that every pet owner thinks that their dog is smart, but Bailey was unusually smart.  She learned all of the commands (sit, stay, lie down, etc) without us ever teaching her.  When we took her outside, she knew the difference between us telling her to "go potty" and "go poop."  When Buckaroo and I would be eating, all it took was me saying "we don’t beg" to get her to go lay down.  She learned what "birdies" were and would go chase them anytime I said that word to her.  Above all, while I know Bailey didn’t know the words, she always seemed to understand what we were saying and empathize or react appropriately.

I discovered that I wrote a blog post almost exactly three years ago in which I described how, even when her paw was hurt and she could barely walk, she would still get up to greet me at the door when I came home and lie down beside me when I lied on the couch.

I wasn’t a dog person before her.  I had always preferred cats and thought dogs were slobbery, smelly, and dumb.  Bailey proved quite the opposite.  I credit her for giving Karter a home because we never would have got him had we not had such a good experience with her.

Yesterday was a dark, dreary, rainy day here in Phoenix, and it matched our moods.  Something really beautiful happened though pretty much exactly 24 hours after the moment of Bailey’s death.  I went outside with Karter to get him to go potty while there was a break in the rain, and when I looked up, I saw the biggest, brightest rainbow I’ve ever seen in my life.  It felt like Bailey was trying to let me know that she was o.k. and was saying her final goodbye.  I called Buckaroo out to look at it.  We tried to take some pictures, but the rainbow was far to big to fit in just one frame.  I’ve attached some of the pictures below.

Bailey was my constant companion, and my heart has a huge hole in it without her.  I guess the reason I’m writing this blog post is I wanted to honor her memory and legacy.  When a person dies, we have a funeral and an opportunity to eulogize them.  Dogs don’t get that, so I’m doing it here.

Bailey was the greatest dog I have ever known.

 
Bailey’s Rainbow
Click on picture to enlarge

 

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

-Author Unknown

Thank you to Heather for sharing this great poem with me.